Watchmen film thoughts, or "Zack Snyder has no balls"

Caught Watchmen last night. I'm a big fan of the book (more on that in a bit), and was quite skeptical about efforts to bring it to the big screen, especially with Zack Snyder of 300 directing.

For the most part, it actually wasn't bad. Had to be cut waaaaay down just to fit under 3 hours, and perhaps the frantic pacing needed to cram in as much as possible will leave non-Watchmen readers' heads whirling. My sympathies, but here I'll discuss my own impressions.

*******SPOILER WARNING*******

Really, everything leading up to the end was handled solidly enough, such that with a properly climactic ending, all the previous flaws could have been excused. But the ending... (skip to PLOT REHASH OVER if you know the background)

For those who don't know and don't care about spoilers, the setting is an alternate-history 1985. In 1959, the United States accidentally transformed one of their nuclear scientists into a being with near-godlike powers of teleportation, matter manipulation, and temporal distortion. This "man" was called Dr. Manhattan (the glowing blue guy). Dr. Manhattan's existence vastly imbalanced the Cold War--he could knock thousands of nuclear missiles from the sky in an instant, and when Nixon called upon him to aid in Vietnam, Dr. Manhattan won the war within a week.

By 1985, the U.S. enjoyed near-total veto power over the world, although the U.S.S.R. remained and had built vastly more nukes in the hope of overwhelming Dr. Manhattan through sheer numbers if need be. Then, in the events of the Watchmen book, Manhattan abandons Earth for various reasons, both personal and political. With the United States' trump card gone, the Soviets eagerly push in to Afghanistan, daring fifth-term President Nixon to respond. (Why would Nixon immediately resort to nukes? It's a good bet that, due to Manhattan's existence, the U.S. never dropped its policy of massive retaliation in favor of flexible response--the former nearly led to a nuclear war over some islands off China in the 1950s, hence Kennedy's historical decision to drop it).

Enter Adrian Veidt, or Ozymandias. Formerly a member of the Watchmen, a team of superheroes including Dr. Manhattan--though Manhattan was the only one with actual super powers--Veidt, the "smartest man on Earth," parleyed his fame into a massive fortune after the Keene Act outlawed superheroes.

Seeing the nuclear Armageddon humanity was preparing to visit upon itself, Veidt secretly struck first, razing several of the world's major cities from his antarctic base. In the book, he elaborately constructs a gigantic fake alien, pieces of which he then teleports into the cities to fool humanity into thinking they are under extraterrestrial attack; in the movie, he frames Dr. Manhattan. Either way, the intent is to unite humanity by convincing the world that it is collectively under attack. "Killing millions to save billions."

The plan works, as Nixon is seen on television lamenting the devastation and pledging to work together with the Soviets and all the nations of the world to defend against future attacks.

PLOT REHASH OVER

One of the most magnificent, truly bold things Alan Moore did with Watchmen the book was to paint Adrian Veidt and his actions in a sympathetic light. At first horrified at the slaughter their onetime comrade has perpetrated, the remaining members of the Watchmen, having arrived too late to stop him, reluctantly agree with his decision, promising never to reveal the true nature of the attacks. Save Rorschach, the psychopathically principled vigilante: "Never compromise. Even in the face of Armageddon." He tries to leave but is blocked, then disintegrated by a reluctant Dr. Manhattan, all the while defiantly screaming "What are you waiting for!?"

In the movie, however, Dr. Manhattan is the only one to truly accept Veidt's decision, offering understanding while neither "condemning nor condoning" his actions. After Rorschach's death, the rest, as represented by Nite Owl, violently attack Veidt before collapsing in tears, declaring that his deception has not "saved humanity, but deformed it."

Deform humanity? What exactly does this mean? The concept of ostensibly sworn enemies banding together in the face of a greater external threat is as old as human history. Even older; witness the symbiotic relationships enjoyed by the clownfish and sea anemone as well as ants and the Central American Acacia.

Is the deception the main issue? Veidt has ensured that no one will ever know the truth of the story. But what good is this one truth in a world where a multitude of less grandiose lies have led us to the brink of nuclear suicide?

The death toll? Don't even bother bringing it up. Veidt wiped out the centers of many of the world's major cities (out of New York City, only downtown Manhattan), whereas Nixon admits that they'd be lucky to only lose the entire East Coast in the event of a war--and those would just be the American casualties.

So why the refusal to fully embrace Veidt's solution? The first thing that springs to my mind is that director Zack Snyder and his backers were afraid to be seen as openly endorsing mass murder, even to avert a nuclear holocaust. Thus they let Dr. Manhattan, the blue-skinned quasi-god, speak in Veidt's defense, while putting their own voice in the human, audience-identifiable Nite Owl: "I don't care what the facts are, there's just something inherently wrong about all this!"

What a missed opportunity! They flirt with some truly weighty moral issues but at the last second refuse to take the plunge, retreating to spout stereotypically Good Guy stuff and in the process dropping all pretensions of true depth, portraying Veidt in the end as a naive crackpot visibly rethinking his actions. Oh, all the facts remain the same, but killing innocent people is bad no matter what, we certainly can't break that rule.

For all its other faults, it could have been a truly deep, bold, thought-provoking movie; not quite along the lines of the book, but in its own way. See this, audience? Moral and ethical issues! Gray areas! This man killed millions, but under the circumstances, that makes him the good guy. Think about that!

Ugh, I can't spit any more out. I may return with some edits or add-ons.

*******END OF SPOILERS*******